To recognize the second anniversary of Nurture Connection, Founder David Willis and Nurture Connection Family Network Collaborative (FNC) Parent Leaders and Nurture Connection Steering Committee members Mia Halthon and Steven Thibert came together to reflect on the importance of centering family voices, culture, and wisdom to promote Early Relational Health (ERH). Their conversation shines a light on the FNC’s novel and deeply relational model for supporting family partnership within Nurture Connection. The FNC framework for “Building Equity-Driven Parent Collaboration” has been designed by Bryn Fortune as part of her role as the coordinator of the FNC. In addition to guiding Nurture Connection, the FNC parent leadership framework is being piloted across four other communities. (This conversation was facilitated by Jabeen Yusuf, Nurture Connection Steering Committee member and Cofounder/Principal of Health+ Studio.)
What was your hope for Nurture Connection’s parent partnership approach?
Mia: My hope was that parents would be at the forefront of everything that Nurture Connection was going to do. This [sitting at the table] is not something that most parent leaders have ever experienced before. In my community, not many families know about Early Relational Health or know if they’re actually making those connections and doing it right. So having the opportunity to bring this knowledge back to my community has been tremendous. My youngest child was five when we started Nurture Connection, so I was just excited about learning more about ERH and also helping my community.
Steven: Nurture Connection and the FNC were really my introduction to being included in the parent leadership work, so I didn’t really know what to expect. I was just excited to have an opportunity to continue to advocate for fathers. And now that’s grown into not just advocating for fathers but realizing how much all parents and communities need advocacy.
David: From everything we had read, learned, and seen around system transformation, we understood that the intentionality of codeveloping with parents and our vision for parent partnership within Nurture Connection was going to be very unique. So for me, it was the excitement of learning and discovering new possibilities for bringing more voices into the work. We came into this [Nurture Connection] with a learning mindset around our parent partnership work. We always held the view of, let’s test it out; let’s create a larger table of learning.
What has been your parent partnership learning journey?
Steven: When it comes to the work, just learning that we have a lot to learn. We go into communities and talk directly to families about their experiences and ideas. So I’ve learned a lot just from listening to the families. And not just the families from the communities we as the parent leaders individually represent but from all the communities represented in the FNC. I have also been surprised at times by the answers that I get from fathers, which is just a very gratifying experience to know they have an opportunity to show up as parents. It’s also been a journey of stepping into my own power as a parent leader and finding my voice.
Mia: I would say one of the biggest things is meeting the parents where they are and understanding that how we speak to parents and families and convey the information matters. Because if they can’t understand what you’re conveying, then there’s really no purpose or progress. That’s why we [the FNC] came up with the concept of “living room language.” We can have the right intentions about going to the families with questions or seeking their input, but if they don’t understand what we’re asking them [because we’re not communicating with them in approachable and accessible ways], then we have failed in creating the right space for them to tell us about their experiences or to share their wisdom. In my personal experience, it’s been so enriching and gratifying to know that the families actually feel heard, that they feel like they’re truly a part of the work. That in turn empowers them as caregivers and strengthens their parenting skills. So it’s a full circle and it all starts with building a shared understanding.
David: For me the learning journey has been about understanding power sharing and discovering my blind spots. At the same time, it’s been about honoring the wisdom and the expertise that families and communities can make visible when we authentically create the space for shared leadership. Even though my whole career [as a clinician] was about listening to the family experience, there was a power dynamic where the world would look at me in that way [as the expert], and I had to meet that expectation. Whereas with Nurture Connection, we have strived to create power sharing in more authentic ways where the expertise of everyone in the group is made visible so we can all learn from each other. It’s been a truly humbling and enriching experience for me.
What have been moments of pride for you on this journey?
Steven: For me, it’s been the growth for Nurture Connection and the Early Relational Health (ERH) movement. I remember two, three years ago, when I’d bring up ERH, very few people and families knew about it. And now in my [family and community] circles, ERH is being brought up unprompted. I just feel like our growth in the last two years has been unprecedented. And so for me, there’s just a lot of pride in watching Nurture Connection grow, having been a part of it from the beginning.
David: Many things! But here are three that really jump out at me. Firstly, I’m really proud of the FNC and how within Nurture Connection, parent partnership has been our driver — which I think is phenomenal and unique. Secondly, there are two communities (Nurture Connection, Connecticut, as well as the Early Relational Health Initiative in Kent County, Michigan) that are centering ERH in their early childhood systems work based on Nurture Connection, which speaks to the resonance of our work. Lastly, it’s gratifying and humbling to witness the momentum and energy behind ERH writ large. ERH is now a major agenda in early childhood systems change work across the country. Einhorn Collaborative, a foundation partner who has been with us since the very beginning, is engaging with a community of 200+ funders who have all expressed a deep interest in wanting to learn more about ERH. In fact, I believe ERH is shaping the way many [early childhood] funders are thinking about system building.
Mia: The biggest one to me is that our families were the ones who picked the name, Nurture Connection, for the work. Because that usually doesn’t ever happen. Parents and families are not usually engaged at that fundamental, strategic level. The other is the diversity of family voices that are represented within the FNC. Especially voices that normally don’t always get to have their ideas or their challenges or even their strengths put to the forefront. That these families [representing Indigenous communities, fatherhood, families of color, and special needs families] are able to step into their power as part of our work [to promote Early Relational Health] should make all of us proud.
Nurture Connection and the topic of Early Relational Health is continuously growing and evolving.
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